found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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