3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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