ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize