Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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