If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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