Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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