i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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