you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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