Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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