he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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