we're blogging at a bar
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize