Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
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The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize