Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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