so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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