Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize