i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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