if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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