I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize