I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize