maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize