As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize