1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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