Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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