apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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