I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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