i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize