hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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