I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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