Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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