My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize