in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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