i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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