hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize