You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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