mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize