Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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