alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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