Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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