YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize