He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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