you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize