I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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