You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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