At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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