He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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