I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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