I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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