the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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