I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's always time for handjobs
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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