Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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